Self-Centered Marriage

Our modern culture has been redefining the meaning of marriage over and over again. Marriage rate has been declining while divorce rate goes the other way. Some fancy “nothing lasts forever”. Momentous feelings are often emphasized more than commitment. In the book “The Meaning of Marriage”, Tim Keller lists some of the redefinitions that people today have given to marriage. For example, marriage has been redefined by some as “finding emotional and sexual fulfillment and self-actualization” (21). Some see marriage as a “private arrangement for the satisfaction of the individuals”(22).

But, the redefinitions on marriage stated above somehow can also easily make their way to our marriage with the Lamb. Just like what I wrote in Self-Centered Christianity, some of us have distorted the purpose of marriage between Christ and the Church into something just to fulfill our selfish needs.

As Keller points out, for some people, “Marriage used to be about us, but now it is about me.” (22). This kind of marriage is a “self-centered marriage”. Similarly, in our Christian life, it is also easy for us to do to the same. In the interviews quoted by Keller, a major thing that people look for in a marriage today is the partner’s “willingness to take them as they are and not change them”. How often have we also harden our hearts and refuse to be changed by the Lord? Of course, God wants us to come just as we are, and yet, we also need to be open to Him and willingly let Him transform us.

In short, when we consecrate ourselves to Christ as His Bride, we are esseantially making a commitment to allow God to come into us and live within us. If we cannot make room for Christ, this marriage is not going to work.


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